I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
