apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
