Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
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