do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
