At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
