i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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