i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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