She's JV to your varsity
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
