Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
