There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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