Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
