Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
my poor anus
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
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