This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
He has the fingertips of a God
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
