the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
