Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize