bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
