Porn is love you can see.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
