Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
