yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
