you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Text me some of your sweat
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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