Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
