The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
