Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
