I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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