I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
