my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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