I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
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