onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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