apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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