he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
