I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
You pole danced in your parka.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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