i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
