Is it normal to miss your booty call?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
