I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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