Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
