Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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