Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
