Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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