oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I'm in love with you.
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.