Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.