oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe isn't a time...
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle