I want to make a zoo with you.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize