She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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