oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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