Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
