The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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