big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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