She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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