So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
