My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
