i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
organizing the empties. That sober.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
