Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
