oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Randomize
