I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Randomize
