white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
