it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
