Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
