Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
