Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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