Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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