your thong is hanging out like whoa
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
did i just pee glitter
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
