I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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